H-Y-P-E

I've been living in Los Angeles for about a year now, and it's been pretty great. Living on the Westside, I've definitely developed a list of places I enjoy for dining, drinking and dancing: Barney's Beanery for an after-work beer, Palomino's for late-night appetizers, Cafe Crepe for a delightful, affordable French feast, and Zanzibar for a little dancing.

My "spots" have a couple things in common. They are moderately to very affordable, comfortable, convenient and tons of fun without much frill. I always have a great time at these places ... which leads me to the thought, "If it ain't broke, why fix it?"

This is a notion I conveniently forgot in the last week, as I attempted to follow the lead of many of my fellow educated, gainfully employed young L.A. residents and check out some L.A. hot spots. You know the ones I'm talking about, located on or near the Sunset Strip, often with a French-sounding name, a $20 valet and a guest list that you'll never be on.

Last Thursday, I met up with some girlfriends at the Bar Marmont, located in the world-renowned Chateau Marmont, a hotel where famous people who don't feel like having a house live. The Chateau is mentioned 3 or 4 times in every issue of Us Weekly, so it's got to be good.

After a $12 glass of wine, a $18 cheese board, some oysters and french fries (all split between three of us), I prepared to drop about 35 bucks toward the check, though my tummy was growling in protest. But alas, when the check came, we were startled by a total of $505. For 6 girls. All we had was some wine and appetizers! Turns out, a 20 percent gratuity had been added on to our check.

That would have been OK, as it is customary to charge gratuity for large tables. However, at the bottom of the check was a bold, infuriating statement. "Gratuity does NOT include tip."

Has anybody ever heard of such a thing? How is this OK? Is it because we were at the Chateau, and they can do whatever the hell they want? I still don't understand.