I am a person who likes being around people. I thrive on social interaction, on friendship, on giving and receiving positivity and love. Maybe it's because I lived almost my whole life in the same place, surrounded by family and friends who I grew up with.
Nine months ago, I decided that in I was so comfortable in that zone that I'd never grow. I'd never become as strong of a person as I wanted to be if I never set out on my own. So I took what for me was a big step.
I moved to L.A. and into an apartment with someone I didn't know.
In these months, I've learned a lot. I know I've grown immensely. I've learned how to do a lot of things on my own. But you know what? I don't feel stronger.
I'll tell you how I do feel: LONELY. And not in that fleeting, temporary way. I am hopelessly, heartachingly lonely. My family is a mere 40 miles away and I have good friends in the area and a job I really like. But it's just not working ... I don't know why.
Maybe I will never be someone who will never be able to handle a great new adventure
in a new city. Maybe I overestimated my abilities. Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought.
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1 comment:
Hey!
Yeah, we should hang out. Recently I've been splitting my time between L.A. and Allan's place because I've been substitute teaching in Orange County.
Anyway, my upcoming available days are:
-tomorrow (Friday, 1/25)
-Wednesday night (1/30)
-Thursday & Friday (1/31 & 2/1)
Call me if you want to meet up tomorrow otherwise you can call or email or comment what date would work best for you. I know you're working and going to school so just let me know and we'll have dinner or coffee or something.
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