AHWOSG

Just finished "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" by the great Dave Eggers. I know everyone read it about 5 years ago. SORRY. I've spent many years attached to the classics, convinced that it would be very hard to find something that would move me in modern literature. But at the urging of my roommate, I decided to put Austen and friends aside for a moment.

Anyhow, I loved this book, and not in a "I am so touched" kind of way. Eggers has a way of making you feel like you're in it, in the middle of the mess he's going through. You're not just a bystander, reading along--you're involved. He's your honest young friend who's having a bad go of it, and you are providing a listening ear, perplexed by his sheer honesty, because he's verbalizing things in a way that you'd never have the balls to do.

Throughout the course of Eggers' rant, I was annoyed, embarrassed, disgusted--it was awesome. Much to my dismay, I laughed out loud several times while reading in public places. People thought I was weird. When I had reached the last 20 pages, I milked them for all they were worth, reading 2, 3 pages at a time and then putting the book down, trying to make it last because I didn't feel like it could be over.

And now, days later, I find myself wondering how my old friend Dave and his nice family are doing. He's back on the bookshelf, and I am trying out my first Didion. She's pretty good I hear, but it's just not gonna be the same. =)

No Mango for You!

I've always loved a good mango. Tart, a little sweet and fleshy, mangoes are surprisingly satisfying for the small number of calories they set you back. Lately, I've been bringing mangoes to work for a delicious and nutritious mid-morning treat. During lunch after a mango morning, I have less of an appetite for junk. It's really a win-win situation. Except for one thing. I don't know how to properly cut a mango. I've heard tips and tricks on how to do it, but always fall short of correct execution. This morning, frustrated by my lack of ability, I e-mailed my boyfriend while frantically knawing on jagged chunks of mango. Ever the cool, collected, resourceful young man, he replied simply and artistically:

"Your best bet with the mango is to peel it with a sharp knife, or cut it in two vertical slices. Then, make a tic-tac-toe cut in each half and invert the half dome slice of mango inside out. Finally, bite into the savory yellow cubes of ecstasy."

Yes, I know ... a little over-the-top, considering we are talking about fruit. But face it, it's not just any fruit. It's a mango. I rest my case.

Wow.

A few days ago, I posted about an elderly woman who adopted several special needs children prior to 1999 (when New York state policy on adoption was more lax than it is now) to reap the governmental benefits in the form of $55 a day per special needs child. She then proceeded to lock the kids up, chain them by the wrists and feed them nothing but noodles. The children were left for hours and days on hand, often sitting in their own filth because they weren't released to use the restroom. This went on for almost a decade, undetected, until last week, when one of the adopted children wandered off and was discovered at a gas station many miles away.

With the government's allowance, these children fell through the cracks. It reminds me of the 50s and 60s, where "special" children were institionalized and forgotten, dismissed out and away from the public eye. Out of sight, out of mind ... when matched with a home, these children were no longer the government's problem--all they had to do at this point was write a check. Where are the social workers?

I hear stories like this and wonder how the government can be so dismissive, so irresponsible on one hand, and on the other hand, beat certain matters to death.

National security should be a priority nowadays ... I don't think that many people would deny that. I also believe that due to the current state of affairs, the U.S. government has the right to exercise extra caution when it comes to dealing with Middle Eastern countries. But there should be limits to the madness. Yesterday, Moroccan Ahmedyassine Boujrad, 3, arrived at Reagan Airport and into the arms of his father and mother, a U.S. citizen and legal resident, respectively, after two years of immigration delays and red tape.

While immigration officials did not give a clear explanation as to why it took two years for the toddler's papers to clear, the Council on American-Islamic Relations are certain it's because of his first name, Ahmedyassine. It bears a striking resemblance to Ahmed Yassin, the founder of Hamas, who was assassinated in 2004. The saddest part? Ahmedyassine's poor parents didn't even who the Hamas leader was and had never heard his name. Read more about it here.

Let's give the U.S. government a hearty round of applause for their careful caution. Only they can keep a baby with potential ties to terrorism (really??) away from his loving parents for two years, while allowing special needs orphans to fall into the hands of any old American, just to get them out of the way. Bravo.

Yoohoo! Anyone reading?

When I wrote for my college newspaper, I knew that some people would end up reading my column by default.

While lining the litterbox with my carefully thought out words, they might have picked up on a phrase that piqued their interest. Perhaps, when using the newsprint to get that streak-free finish on their bathroom mirror, they may have seen my smiling face and thought, "I wonder why she's so cheery?"

Some people even read it regularly, I think. I had a few loyal readers who dropped me an e-mail whenever my latest edition hit, thanking me for my honesty.

But out here in the wide world of the web, I have no idea how many people see the words, if any? I see so many people who have success with blogging, and wonder what the winning formula is, what makes people tune in. For now, I'll just keep writing.

Personality Test

So I took this crazy personality test. It told me a lot that I already knew. Apparently, I am an anxious, emotional person who likes to please others.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 63% Stability |||||| 26% Orderliness |||||||||||||| 53% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70% Interdependence |||||||||||||| 56% Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56% Mystical |||||||||||||||| 63% Artistic |||||||||||||||| 63% Religious |||||||||||| 50% Hedonism |||||||||||||| 56% Materialism |||||||||| 36% Narcissism |||||||||||| 43% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 70% Work ethic |||||||||||| 43% Self absorbed |||||||||||| 43% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||| 56% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 70% Romantic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 70% Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43% Wealth |||||||||||||| 56% Dependency |||||||||||||| 56% Change averse |||||| 23% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70% Sexuality |||||||||||| 43% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 70% Physical security |||||||||||||||||| 76% Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||| 64% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 63% Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70% Vanity |||||||||||| 50% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 70% Indie |||||||||||||| 53%

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