I need to rant

I am done censoring myself, it's not getting me anywhere.

I know what's good for me and what's right, but I choose to walk in the opposite direction with the thought that I am young and it's OK to do stupid shit while I still can. It's just not.

I know I am strong, but I let myself be weakened when I push down my spirit and let others, people I want to impress or keep in the picture, walk all over me. I've done it with friends, coworkers, boyfriends, family, everyone who is significant in my eyes ... and every time I let it happen I feel like less of a person.

I do this because I always feel like it's me that is in the wrong and that, as a solution, I need to somehow adjust myself completely while letting all others continue with their quirks and faults ... and just take it up the tail pipe. I'm very sorry, but fuck that. I am done. I am in the position to take control of all the situations in my life, so that's what is going to happen.

No one is infallible ... no matter what he or she may think. I'm certainly not, and this new POV I'm trying to adopt doesn't mean I will never admit wrongdoing again ... in fact, I plan on it. But I will not ADD to my infallibility (is that a word?) in order to satisfy others with their false sense of perfection!

Wow, that feels better.