Lazy and Sneezy

In front of me sits a smoldering Black & Mild cigar, which has survived through its second session of my half-hearted dabbling. I don't like everything that comes with smoking, but when I inhale, I can actually feel my breath travelling deep into my body, bringing a sense of calm that is very rare to me.

"I'm gonna do some things you wouldn't let me do..."
John Mayer's new album came out this past week, and amen to that. He talks about the constraints and toxicity that come with the wrong kind of relationship. In the last month, I've seen a surge in my confidence level and social life so prevalent that sometimes, I feel like my reflection is glowing. Sometimes, I'm even a hottie.

That doesn't mean I dont fall into my moments of bitterness and nostalgia--trust me, I do. But simply the fact that I can smoke a cigar or spend time with whoever or wear what I want and not face judgment is refreshing. I think in relationships, a fair amount of mutual self-editing can be expected, tolerated even, to make things work. But when you second-guess your every move or action because of the other person, then there's a fucking problem.

I have two very tempting party invitations for tonight, but you know what? Tonight, I'd rather lie around with my family and watch an exciting rented DVD. Judge that, bitches.

Quirkyalone

Is it possible to find someone who gives you the security to make you sigh in relief and who takes your breath away every time ... all at the same time?

Are the feelings you get from cuddling in front of the TV with the same person every night enough compensation for the ambivalence that time and a high level of mutual comfort bring?

Is it possible to feel "the thrill" with someone for an extended period of time without some overarching conflict that brings it about?

My life has taught me that those relationships that come about too easily are usually not worth having, and that anything truly satisfying in life takes at least some hard work to obtain.

I'm at work, of course, and distracted ... today by this commentary that drove me particularly out of my mind by its accuracy. So I just had to write about it. Take a look!
http://www.calendarlive.com/dating/cl-wk-tell7sep07,0,1387481.story?coll=cl-weekend